Blame the Mother
There seems to be a culture of “Blame the Mother” going on, all over the world; but most especially I have noticed in the Philippine culture. It is really starting to bother all of the mothers out there, whether they are a housewives or a working mamas.
Being a mama is a hard task to do, and most mothers do the best they can, to take care of the children, and give them a good future.
She will clean the house, do the laundry, the cooking, the taking care of the children and the husband. Every day, she has the same task that she will perform. Isn't it boring?
Yes, there are bad mothers out there, but, I am arguing with that. What if the mother works in order for the children to eat, send them to school, buy nice clothes, toys, sending them to movies and so forth. Children need this kind of stuff, you know; that is part of there development.
If something happens to the child, for example the infant falls off from the bed, table or chair then who takes to blame?
The pre-schoolers don't know how to read yet, or as they grow older they are not properly disciplined, who’s fault is it?
The society will come up with these phrase, it is because the mother is busy or the mother is working. Why we end up with these conclusions? And why, the expectations of a mother are high? Why not blame the father too or both parents?
29 Had something to say...:
ako'y pirs unor na naman, heheheh. madz balik lang ako next time ok? kissess to maria, mwaaaaaaah!
second ko! kasi naman nong nagtambay ko dire, imo gyud gituyo, wala nimo gipost dayon kay dugay dugay ko gahulat dire, wala gyud, daya moooooooo, hehehe!
kaya nga mahirap maging isang INA e, kasi if we have to work, we have to compromise too by not neglecting our housework including taking care of kids and hubby, pagka daya no?
cgurado mga nagsasabi niyan, mga taong di nakaranas ng pagmamahal ng isang ina, mga hindi nakakita o nagbubulag-bulagan sa mga hirap at pagtitiis ng isang babae sa pag-aalaga ng mga anak. meron din "self defense" lang ang mga salitang ito dahil takot/ayaw sa mga responsibilidad na buong buhay nilang babalikatin bilang ilaw ng tahanan, babysitter, nars, titser, etc.
mao nang tawag nila naky "hehhehe" INAHAN NGA MAIlOT!!!!!!!!!!!
that is why mom's are superwoman! its the toughest job out there... its a 24/7 job... and you get paid with love and respect!
Read why GOD made women special
Hi Raquel,
Its true, being a mother is hard touch and and its boring then if anything happened to our children its our fault. Oops lakaw sa ko kay nagligo ako bogoy.. balik ra ko onya. hugs and kiss to you and Maria.
Hi quel this kind of case is just only happens in the philippines I think that they only blame the mother, In our case sa akong bana he is not blaming me instead among anak hahahaha..kay kiatan kuno kong matagak. Lisod kong iya ko i-blame kay gubat jud ming duha, siya ako i-blame most of the time kong ingon man ana kay ako ra sige bantay kong wla sya, so to be fair dli jud i-blame nako kay wala nato tuyua kong mahog or dli maayo ang pagdako sa bata. Dli raba sayon ang pagpadako sa bata kita tanan inahan nag atiman. Gawas lang pod cguro sa mga mothers nga wlay care sa ilang anak nga atupagon ang gambling or whatsoever nagkagidlay ang mga anak wlay atiman.
Murag akong tan aw didto raman sa atoa ng i-blame tanan sa mama mao jud na akong nabantayan nga ke mao ni dang-hag ta mao na ingon ana ang bata..haaay wla lang cla kahibaw pod ba unsa na ka lisod bantay sa bata. Without mother unsa nalang kaha hitsura sa amahan magbantay sa anak tan awn ta katag nila. hehehe..Ok sige adto sa ako mukaon sa pamahaw. Ingat mo diha permi and kisses to ur maria! hope she is getting better this time! muaah!
funny, we were just talking about this in class yesterday. it isnt just pinoys who have this tendency to blame mothers. asians in general are like that. kasi nga diba the mother is usually the one who stays home and cares for the children & in asia, ang belief is when children don't do so well, blame automatically falls on the parents. in most cases, sa mother talaga. sad nga lang kasi it shouldn't be like that. dba kaya nga may nature/nurture debate. *sigh* oh well, tc now. enjoy the mid-week =)
Mare nakasulod jud ko..ambot bulanon jud ni ba.
Nweis, na associate man gud ang mothers nga mao jud mo-care ug mo matuto sa mga anak kay ang inahan gud ang nagsabak sa anak sa dihang kini nahimugso. So mao ng ang mga pagbasol ug makasala ang mga anak adto jud sa inahan. Pero ang pagkainahan jud ang pinakalisod pero pinaka-fulfilling nga karera.
Sa Lahat: Si Mareng Raquel will be out of the cyberworld for 2 days coz her computer is under repair. She'll be back soon to entertain us again hehehehe.
Tumawag si kumareng Raquel sa akin today at gusto lang nyang ipaalam doon sa mga nag comment na di raw muna siya makapag reply kasi sira ang computer nya :( at gusto nya ring magpasalamat sa inyo :)
A parents should no longer make a mistakes, we are all human beings and all humans makes mistakes. I believe all parents can't solve children's problems even from infancy, the children have to learn that parents can't always makes things better. Mareng nice post, i remember my parents.
unfair naman yan sa mga mama. dapat kung lumaking mali ang bata pati ama kahati sa kamalian. hanga nga ako sa mga ina lalo ngayon kasi karamihan sa kanila mga working mom. napakalaking pagod nila sa pamilya. trabaho sa opis, responsibilidad sa bahay. sa inyo mga mommy saludo ako.
This is eversince an endless debate, who should be blamed if something happen to the child, is it the Father or the Mother?
It a known fact that "IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO". PARENTS IS ALWAYS RESPONSIBLE for whatever consequences may arise. Not the father nor the mother alone!
Before the cases were:
1. Mother stays at home. Father works!
2. Mother takes care of the children. Father earns for a living!
3. Mothes does all the household chores. Father takes a rest after 5 or 6 days or work & pressure!
4. Mother attends to their needs like (helping them w/ their homework etc.)sometimes father helps.
5. Teaches religion !!! Depends with the Father.
But in fairness for those SINGLE FATHERS, in my own perspective, they are doing the job of being a "MOTHER" too. Single Fathers contribute in educating their children as well and bringing their children to the best of their ability.
In my case, I've seen my DAD, working to earn, doing the laundries, expert in the kitchen, even washing dishes!
Now, I am married to a wonderful Frenchman and honestly he is doing great, he helps & supports me in everything. He just doesn't earn money for a living but he also knows how to work at home. I think it is just a matter of communication, delegating, sharing and organizing of having a family ! Anyway, these are the words we uttered when we got married " for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health"...
Now think about it!!! World we are now living is computer age....rights of men and women are equal.
halo ...tawo diri!!!
I think this is grossly unfair for mothers. In my case, my wife is the Natay. I am wondering how she handles it -- my children are exceptionally good.
Mabuhay ang mga nanay. Kung wala kayo, wala ring mga tatay at mga anak na tulad natin.
mareng Raq, muzta na diha ako ra intawon ga laroy laroy nga isa, ambot si manang Ghie diin na wa man naka bisita sa akong balay. Cge adto sa kay nag work pa ko sa atong BISDAK.
Raq, musta. unsay sakit sa imo 'puter? hehehe.
anyway, no one to blame really tawo ra man ta. pero most in asia kay lagi most sa mga mothers are stay at home mao nga bisan unsa-on ug ayo ang tanan naa man jud isa ma blame & of course the mother kay lagi naa ra sa balay. mao ra sab na sa giingon nga kung guapa ang anak liwat sa mama kung bright ang anan liwat sa papa. hehehe.
oh seg au-au diha ug have a great friday!
hi lannga na sachie. agi lang ko. maybe i will send u thru email papa & mama's old pictures tomorrow or sunday na ha. ni uli na diay si papa ganina buntag.
The Importance of Time
A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door. It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.
Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr.. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
"Jack, did you hear me?" "Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.
"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.
"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.
"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important. Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.
"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked. "The box is gone," he said. "What box?" Mom asked.
"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most, '" Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom." It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.
"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter.
His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."
"The thing he valued most...was...my time."
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"
Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep
5. You mean the world to someone.
6. If not for you, someone may not be living.
7. You are special and unique.
8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on. His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
11. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.
14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH
At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. The daughter's plane's departure had been announced and they were standing near the door when the father said to his daughter, "I love you. I wish you enough." She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."
They kissed good-bye and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face-to-face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral," he said. When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?" He began to say "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."
He paused for a moment, looking up, as if trying to remember it in detail and then he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued, and then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough 'Hellos' to get you through the final Good-bye.'"
He then began to sob and walked away. It is said "It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them."
Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget and also remember to send it to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends. Take the time to live!
My friends and loved ones, I wish you enough.
MOMENTS IN LIFE
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a
smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the
one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance
to do all the things you want too .
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.
Please send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID) to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter
side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship
you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.
If you don't send it, don't worry, nothing bad will happen to you; you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!!!
Don't count the years-count the memories .....
Let the wind comb your hair every once in a while .........
ulahi na sad ko. anyway, better late than never man daw. bitaw ai unfair man jud na nga ang mama lang ang e-blame. usahay baya ang mga papa mga way hinungdan, haha! way labot akong papa ha kay buotan to akong papa baya bisan di mi magkasinabot usahay. i think if there is something wrong with the kid, both parents should be blamed. o cge till here na lang. maniodto sa ko, ala una medya na, pasmo ta ani, hehehe!!! ayo ayo mo dha og kiss ko ni Maria.
Raquel:
Carpe Diem!
The risk of being a mother is great but you have to take it....
we take risk in loving someone hoping it would last a lifetime... but we are not always certain it would .... but we can always be sure that memories will always last a lifetime and the heart who loves truly and purely will always treasure them no matter what happens ... the beauty of life is because of its uncertainties and imperfections. perfections can be had only if we put our minds and heart to it.... thanks for giving me the opportunity to grow up and learn from the things you have written... you are a good writer and has a heart for it... i saw you in xavier before and your two sisters .... you're great and a superb mother .... please keep it up.... hehehehe... take care always.
Halo mare, hahaha...nakatawa ko sa imong post didto sa akong balay :) tawon kalooy pod nimo kay nalutas sa computer hehehe aw kanang imong gibati ron ako pod nang nabati adtong nagbinuang akong puter :) SAkto jud ka, arang ka mingaw sa balay pag kining atong daily friends puter madaot :) maayo mare nga mopalit si vana nimo ug bag-o para mag tagsa na mo :) I hope sad diay nga katong imong mga files sa una nimong puter dili mangawala, kay ang akoa mare everyday jud ko naay backup, ambot pila ni ka CD RM akong mga backups. Kay hangtud karon kining akong puter, di na ko mosalig kay ang cooler ani medyo naay deperensya :) ilisdanan na jud oy. Diay nalipay ko nga nakatunga ka sa akong balay, ahak, gimingaw nako kaayo sa imoha oy! tawon pili na dayon diha ug puter aron makasuroy kanan sa atong kasilinganan :) cge adto sa ko. Ayo ayo diha kanunay ug pa kiss ko sa akong gamay nga kumareng.
Hi po sa inyong lahat jan, I read all your messages. Taos puso po akong nagpapasalamat sa mga comments nyo dito. Sana andito ako nung panahong iyon at makapag share din sa inyo.
Our society is programmed! They think mothers should stay at home and take care of the children. The Fathers has to work for a living. I would love to stay home and take care of my baby but it's impossible for now. Maybe someday I will be able to stay home.
I remember one time, I was so down and feeling ko talaga everything in my life is going awry. My mom and I had an argument. Wala akong mapaglabasan ng init ng ulo ko kaya sinigawan ko sya and I kept on telling her that she kept on dictating what I have to do with my life. I blamed her because I am an Accountant now and I hate it.
One of the regrets I have in life, Raq. I love my mom so much. She was right in putting me in this profession. Otherwise, paano ako makakapag-provide for my siblings di ba?
Mothers know best always! And I wish my mom's still alive...
Gayan talaga Sash, nasa huli na ang pagsisi. Sakin naman suwail akong anak, :D Pero nung nasa 20's na ako, medyo kumalma na.
Thank you again Sasha, sana gagawa ka rin kung ano ka 20 years ago para makilala kitang husto. I warn you, hindi madali yun.
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