Proverbs 23:13-14 & Proverbs 22:15 says that “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”. Mahirap talaga mag discipline ng bata lalo na kung papaluin mo na, pero para sa kanila rin yan. yun lang meron pa ring paraan na pagbabalo sa bata sa hindi siya ma to trauma, like syiempre sa pwet tapos pagkatapos paluin ipaalala sa kanya ang pagmamahal, kung bakit mo siya dinidisiplina, hwag lang pabayaan na pinalo tapos di na explain sa kanya kung bakit.
kalooy pud ni maria oy. i wish too you havent done that to her. i could only imagine how afraid she was. looya pud oy. na trauma gyud na sya ga. maybe you should try being with her in a dark room while hugging and talking to her. basin kadugayan mauli-an ra iya kahadlok.
does toney know about what happened?
kiss little maring for me. mwuaaahhh. love you both…. miss you…
I knew, the feeling Raq, just calm down…matud pa nila ing-ana gyud ng mga bata labi na gyud only one lang si Maria…usahay kita makahimo sa mga butang nga dili unta nato gustong buhaton sa mga bata “usahay bah dili malikayan”. I do spank ! only my kids butt and time out always work …usahay they don’t care maskig they turn black and blues ….but hey if you take them away from their favorite thing they will go crazy… Your Maria still learning and your her comfort zone…kong wala work si Tony..try to go out without her para ma relax ka og ma experience ni Maria nga wala ka around…and tell her you will come back soon… Og normal gyud sa kids nga mahadlok sila sa dark og usahay ma phobia sila ….try to be with here sa ngitngit and tell here theres nothing to be afraid of…tudloi pag onn and off sa light switch ” work for me”. Bitaw,don’t to be to hard for yourself and Maria…just take it easy kay ma highblood unya ka like me ….mao ng ako enjoy ko nalang ning duha naku ka bogoy kay they won’t be kids forever…they grow like a weed and will have their own world pretty soon. You take care and God Bless.
syempre i can’t relate since wala pa kameng baby. but this is also one of my fears. pano nga ba maging mabuting magulang? how do you discipline your child? kailangan bang paluin? sigawan?
i’m sorry to hear about your kid’s trauma. in due time, mawawala rin naman siguro yun. and you can’t blame yourself kasi you only did what you thought would teach her a lesson.
Hi Raq, dont feel bad about what you did to Maria. You just want to make things right for her. But do it with love and not with anger. Maria is still a baby and they’re very innocent, we just have to be very patient with them. Once they are old enough, its okay to put them on time out in the dark or in any form….Dont yell at her also because she will learn to yell back. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6. Lets train them to be the kind of child God wants them to be! Take care always. God bless you and your family, remember you are an awesome Mama!
@ CRUISE: Thanks Cruise! Ay mahirap talaga, especially for those who are first time mom.
@ ACHIE: Thanks, that’s a good idea, I will try that if it works. Yes, Toney knows all about it. He didn’t blame me naman.
@ GWAPASILA: Gwapa, nalooy lang ko aning akong anak kay bata pa kaayo akong gibutnag sa ngitngit. Usahay ba maka ulit man gud ni sya oi kay mo hilak walay hinungdan ug saputon labi nag naay magunitan ug imong kuhaon, agoy mo syagit ug taman…salamat kau sa imong mga matam-is nga pulong ha, hehehe.
@ GRACITA: Thanks Gracita, this is your pre-caution now, hehehe. For me, I blame myself kase bata pa anak ko at ginawa ko yun sa kanaya…
@ LOLLIPOP: Waaaah:(( Mare, ayaw ko kasab-i bah!
@ RennyBA: Thanks Renny.
Oh I am happy to both of you, maybe you could share some photos sometimes. Would you mind if I will add you as my contact?
@ MIMI: That is a very sweet of you Mimi. Lahi ning layo ta sa atong family kay walay maka advice. Wala jud koy idea aning “she will learn to yell back”. Usahay ra ba kay masingkahan nako ni kay wala koy pasensya, usahay ra pod. I blame myself lang kay bata pa kaayo si Maria ug akong gibuhat to sa iya…pasensya jud ang dapat sa ila nga edad. Lain pod ato, naa koy IM sa imo gakadawat nimo, ingon gud ko nga nasuko man cguro ni si Mimi nako.
Hello Ate Raq. I am not into spanking the child. If you watch those Nanny 911 on TV I think they give out good pointers on how to discipline a child.
The important thing here is respect since by spanking a child you are not instilling respect on that but instead fear and it is not good since eventually people outgrow on their fears and become rebellious later.
Myself is a good example on that. Actually I dont respect my parents at all these days since I am all grown up and I am not threatened anymore with the spanking or other array of punishments. I just blew them all away. If they respected my choices as a child I could have been more respectful to them by now.
Btw, I made a small version of the button. I dunno if that is small enough for you. I will make more buttons later
they say that the length of punishment for kids like isolating them should correspond to their age. example, for a 2 year old child, the punishment should only be 2 minutes long, no longer than that.
when my kids throw tantrums [which is very rare, thank God], i leave them alone, i let them scream all they want, eventually they will get tired and stop. Kasi alam nilang di ko sila papansinin. Pero malalaki na ang mga anak ko, unlike Maria.
I think what Maria needs is playmates. Why dont you send her to a daycare center mga 2-3 times a week for 4 hours each day. Para she will learn how to socialize and at the same time be on her own without you beside her al the time.
Mothers need time away from their kids… just like kids need some time away from their parents.
In my part quel, Im so thankful that Nicole doesn’t throw a tantrum like Maria does. The only thing that makes me frustrated about is her being so malikot dli gyud sya mahadlok touching all these things around us, when I lost out of patience that’s the time I would yell at her pag magahi na ang ulo dli maminaw from my first and second signal na “NO”. Putting our kids in the bathroom that’s just not helping at all but we make things worsen. C nicole nuon she never gets afraid of the dark, ako pa maluya og hadlok niya kay maski pagngan nako sa suga tua namungkag sa among dirty clothes. Ingnon nako na naay ungo. I just can’t do putting a time out to Nicole like that kay ighuman maluoy kaayo ko og makonsensya. I still understand about her situation kay she is still into learning everything she sees around. I guess that’s just a normal thing for the kids. Usahay makasab-an c Nicole sa akong bana but later on mouna nalang sya na sorry anak I know na it’s part of you being a smart daw kay curious kaayo sa tanan dli mahadlok unya kamo gikuyawan nami and sometimes she breaks things na dli dapat maski unsaon og bantay sa iya.
Pasensya ragyud sa mga inahan kay once dli ta ka control makonsensya ta ighuman then we would wish that we have not done it but we can’t turn back time after all. Sa ako pod nuon side gihinay hinay na namo ni og pasabot c Nicole and good things she would respond that well, once she gets into trouble she would know it. Ako hadlokon gyud nako c nicole to smack her hands and butt. I guess you need a break time sometimes, try to go out without your daughter and let your husband watch Maria so you will have freedom pod usahay, if that makes you feel good.
Goodluck on your parenting. Kitang mga inahan as a first timer is really into lots of adjustments, extremely patience atong kailangan, I know sometimes it’s hard to deal na kay mahutdan ta og pasensya pero control lang gyud!
it only shows that you really love your child. just continue to express your love to your son and soon enough the trauma will go away and he’ll understand that you did it for his own good.
Hi Raquel, I felt pity for your daugther. I do spank of my son in the butt ug mangusi pa gani ko pero gibreak nako kay masuko akong bana ug I felt bad and terrible mother after I do it. I have attitude like crab dali ra kaayo makakapit labi na stressful kaayo ko akong mahungawan akong anak. Then I yell at him when he wont listen to me. Toddler tantrum is very hard to deal with it and we have a lot of patience. Hubby and I stick to our discipline like time out in the corner of the bathroom upstair standing up facing to the wall and downstairs in the kitchen facing to the sink and he doesnt like it. We start giving him time out when he was toddler about 1-2 minutes until became 10-15 minutes until age of 5 years old. Now we dont give him time out anymore because he understand what he can do or not. If his being bad at school like last year we give him a lot of time out and after time out we explain to him and telling him we do love him so much. Time out is work for us. But now I took away one of his favorite toy or no tv, no game, no computer. He can only play legos and do his homework and do coloring or writing thats my punishment for him and it work for me. Hubby and I dont have complict to discipline our son because we both the same. Now I hate to hear his talking back to us and we keep explaining to him all the time and do the same discipline by no tv, no pc, no playsation 2 game age like this is showing us to be independent and I can believed his already talking back to us sometime he got spank from his dad and me cause sometimes just too much. Dont give your daugther time out in the dark because is not appropriate for her age even older. When you do giving her time out, turn on the light. You can still spank her in the butt,but remember not so hard just enough for her to feel she is bad. You and your hubby stick one descipline and work out together otherwise it became one of your argument,but thats is normal. You still had few more years before your daugther understand what is time out means to her when she is bad because she is only over a year old. They called it terrible 2 and later terrible 3 and so on. Na sige good luck and be patience. take care
hmm,parenting is tough and sensible… lahat naman tayo,may kanya kanyang hirap sa pagpapalaki..but Maria is still small para makaintindi…shes not forever little nman,kaya you need more patience.
she`ll get over it..makakalimutan nya rin yan naturally,bumawi ka na lang sa pakikipaglaro sa kanya,talking to her,smiling with her,and its effective,i guess.
pag nagkinder na sha at nag elementary,mas lalong maraming discipline ang matututunan nya,that way,magkakaroon ka na ng time para sa sarili mo.
@ CHASE: I’ve been watching the Nanny 911, dami kung natutunan jan eh.
O thank very much to your point of view. Iba-iba talaga ang mga reaction in every child. Sa kin naman I’m scared of punishment from my parents kaya naging behave ako. I guess as a parent, let us see nalang the situation kung ano ang dapat i-aaply pag di-disiplina.
Salamat Charles, anjan na sa sidebar ko…proud na proud akong CW eh, marami din akong nakilala with your game. Kilan ba ang susunod na game? Hi-hi-hi…
@ JO: Hay sana di ko ginawa yun….Maria is too young for that kind of punishment. I think it was only a seconds lang at ang kinalabasan ay di maganda. Grabe ha may dalawang nag comment dito, I feel like I am a bad mama sa kanila and they sound like a perfect mama.
Thank you for the “daycare” suggestion Jo, I like it. I will ask hubby for this.
@ DAUPH: Hi Dauph, I wish all children have the same reaction after all what you did of Nicole by putting her in the dark. How lucky you are to have a daughter like her.
“Im so thankful that Nicole doesn’t throw a tantrum like Maria does.”
I guess, having a tantrum thing is normal for young children even adults have. Please do not compare my daughter to Nicole because you don’t know the personality of my daughter and you don’t know the situation and never mention how bad the tantrum of my daughter. I never mention how bad she is. I hope my message was clear to you Dauph.
Same here, goodluck on your parenting…take care and God bless your family.
@ ISKOO: Thanks Iskoo, this message is very sweet. Sabi pa ni Ghee, babawi nalang ako by playing with her just to get away the feeling of concience.
@ LANIE: Thank you for sharing your experiences of taking care with Andrew Lan…goodluck! I am not halfway yet.
@ GHEE: Ma’am Ghee, ehem, ma’am sila sau eh.
Magandang idea to ah…”bumawi ka na lang sa pakikipaglaro sa kanya,talking to her,smiling with her,and its effective,i guess”. Salamat ha, parang pinakalma mo ang concience ko.
That is also true. I think giving timeout is quite effective and i will do the same when i have my own children that bad behaviour has some consequences. That’s why i like watching Nanny 911. I learned alot from them.
I will keep you posted on the next game since I will have a real prize from Norway
Hei Raquel, Sometimes, a child just to have to cry. Most of the time, they cry because they are tired and they do not know how to handle it. Mahirap talaga na marinig ang bata na umiiyak pero ako, I let them cry until they calm down and then, I talk to them. The more I fuzz around them when they cry, the louder they do it.
#18Racky aka Bakya Ni Neneng
December 11, 2006 pm31 1:38 pm
wag kang naman maging malupit sa sarili, mahirap talaga mag-alaga ng bata … lalo na kung panganay, marami kang tanong kung tama o mali ang ginagawa mo! pero sabi nga mother knows best
sa ganyang edad, madali pa niyang makakalimutan yan … wag mo lang dibdibin and presto! bati na uli kayo.
jan tayo natututo kaya lang … sabi nga habang lumalaki ang mga anak, lumalaki rin ang problema … hirap maging isang ulirang ina (sino ba ang hindi nagkakamali)! kaya sa next life gusto ko ama ako! heheh
kahit tapos na ang monther’s day … MABUHAY ANG MGA NANAY!
i don’t believe in spanking. my young ones can be unreasonable also. but i just try to understand my 3-year-old son or my 1-year-old daughter.. what they are trying to tell me… count one to ten… then explain. i don’t wanna spoil them, so I explain instead of giving in to their demands, whatever they may be. yup, mahirap talaga maging nanay.
HI RAQ lisod jud bitaw labi pa ning akoa diri…duha jud badlongon na kaau….usahay dapi-an baya nako uy…..pero mao lage ang guilt nato dili ta katulog….buhat sad ko sumtyms ingon ana sa bathroom with no lights on….pero so far okey ra man akoa anak…dili man mahadlok sa dark nu-on….ayaw ka worry kay ma change ra na sila cguro ambot lang hehehe i dont know pud ayyy….kay ako until now hadlokan jud ko ug dark as in….one of my biggest fear jud na lol….ingon ana jud na ang mga bata they will keep pushing ur buttons until to the limit nga you will blue the face hehehehe….anyway cguro daghan diri ang maka hatag ug advice…..take care
Don’t feel bad about your parenting style… not all people will agree with you. but remember that parents do make mistake too, we are not perfect, we are only human!
I made a lot of parenting mistakes too, and I have to live with those mistakes and the effect it had on my kids.
There’s a book and video called “1-2-3 Magic”, try to borrow it in your local library. The method/concept there really worked! It worked on my kids! And I’m sure it will work on Maria, even at age 2.
@ AL: Thank you, it’s good I posted about this, ang dami kung natutunan.
@ BAKYA NI NENENG: Salamat manay, pinagaan mo dibdib ko.
@ TANI: Thanks Tani…
@ HAZE: Good for your baby Haze, maayo unta parehas ang mga reaction sa mga bata. Nalooy lang ko ning ako kay mahadlok na ug ngitngit.
@ JO: Thank you Jo, buti nalang na i-share ko to dahil ang dami kung natutunan sa inyo. Dami ko ring babaguhin to handle this problem with our children.
I will check that video Jo, malapit lang dito samin ang local library, isang block lang.
Aha, this time it works! I couldn’t comment earlier. I don’t know why.
I just want to say…Raquel, you’re a good Mom for worrying. Yeah, there’ll be misstep, and mishap, and lots of guilt. The point is to try to go on from there.
I do time-out with my kids as early as 18 months. Time out like, making them stay in the corner, a minute for each year of their age.
I have been fortunate that it works with most of them. I say most because there’s always the one kid who’s quite willing to push the envelop.
I know that guilt. I feel it every single time I snap at my kids because I just lost all patience.
What also works for me is to give myself a break…like I would sit in the couch with my book, so I could still keep an eye out for the kids, but I will not say anything or respond to anything. I’ll just be reading and calming myself down so I can tell them in a perfectly calm voice why Mommy does not like what they just did.
Shoshana, thank you very much of your inspiring messages. I am glad I had shared this to everyone because it really bothers me. This is the difficult situation since I am a first time mom and also I am away from my family…
Having tantrums are very normal for children because they still do not have good reasoning, therefore they are frustrated. Us adults are matured, capable of good reasoning, decision-making and yet we make tantrums too!
Don’t worry Raquel, you are doing a good job instead of hurting a child like I do with my kids I ask them to go to their room. They can cry as long as they want in the end they will get tired and will just find theirselves playing with their toys. Sometimes I give them a taste of palo too! From time to time it is necessary to spank them (in the BUTT but not just anywhere). Depende rin kung ano ang kasalanan nila di ba. Of course it doesn’t mean that we do not love them or maltreating our child! Goodluck to your parenting Raquel it is the most difficult job and I guess you are on the right path in educating Maria!
it’s sure so overwhelming ang mga tambag. but just remember Raq babies cry with NO reason. most of them cried for attention that’s it all. You are just fine & don’t worry about it.
dili tanan pareha ang bata. lain2x sila ug personality. some parents are lucky na dili mag throw ug temper tantrum but that’s so rare. i’m sure na naa silay gusto ug dili dayon makuha mao dayon they all do anything to get. hahaha. just like Julie!
Oy unsaman diay ka quel gihimo man nuon nimong mean akong gi-comment dri. As I have said nagpasalamt ko na nicole wala syay tantrum pareho kay Maria pero malikot kaayo c nicole which is a bad thing for my daughter. Ikaw na nag ingon na imong anak mohilak without any reason. Im not comparing my daughter to yours. Lahi lahi atong mga anak sa ato ika frustrate. Did I say something so bad about your daughter? I am just sharing my opinion being as a mom, well if you can’t take it delete the comment, don’t let the others read it kong nasakitan ka you can PM me anything you want. I thought you are accepting all the comments here.
Don’t just ever saying goodluck to me bcos it seems it’s just being hypocrite. I hope you are being a true person.
– Posted by Dauph to Memories Frozen in Time at 12/11/2006 09:32:23 PM
This is going to be my second comment this time but seems my comment didn’t get through or what since I didn’t see it appears. Usbon ko nalang!
Imo diay gihimo na mean akong comment dri quel. I didn’t compare my daughter to yours. Ingon ko c nagpasalamat ko na walay tantrum c Nicole like Maria does. pero ang bad side ning nicole is very makulit pod which is very frustrating to me. Did I say anything so bad to your daughter? basaha kuno na og balik kay basin ikaw ra ang wala kasabot ba! kadaghana gud para kaklaro ka. Cguro nasayop ko nga gibutang nako ang name ning Maria pero it doesn’t mean gi-compare nako clang duha akong gipaibot na lahi lahi ang mga bata nga ato ika frustrate. Did I say something so bad ba kay Maria? Ikaw ray nag ingon na imong anak muhilak without any reason. I thought you open this to everyone, so imo man kaha pamati bati ni akong gi-comment, so nagpasabot lang diay na you are looking up to the comments that are soo nice maski lahi lahi gyud opinion sa mga tawo. Kong ingon ani nalang diay don’t put your blog into public and just erase my name in your blog list okay!
Nasakitan man kaha ka sa akong comment ge-delete nalang unta nimo og gi YM ko nimo dli kay imo pa i-annonce sa mga tawo dri or into public. Mao diay niingon ka dri na there are two people here commented na bad ka pagkainahan unya we sounds perfect. Giunsa gud tawn nimo paghunahuna. IKaw nagstart pag open sa topic. Kong nalain ka sa akong gipost you can reach man sa YM or phone kay nakahibaw man ka sa number pod. You know what dli diay ko angay na mo respeto ko nimo kay mura man sad ka walay manner. Ipa annonsyo pa gyud diay nimo. Pasalamat ka wala teka giingnan na the way nimo gibutang c Maria sa bathroom na ingon ana pa og edad na bati gyud na imong gibuhat kay bata pa kaayo na ingon ana edara giingon ana nimo. Abusive na imong gibuhat sa iyaha. So think about that before might someone would call the 911 in your neighborhood pag nahibaw-an ka.
As your saying goodluck to me pod but sorry I don’t need it cos you are just being sarcastic and hypocrite after saying that to me. I hope you are a true person.
Posted by Dauph to Memories Frozen in Time at 12/12/06 12:03 AM
Wahi-hi…kulbaan ug korog jud ko nimo dah! Bravo! Clap-clap… Salamat diay sa imong input diri madam, nice message indeed.
Leave a Comment
December 10, 2006 pm31 7:15 am
Proverbs 23:13-14 & Proverbs 22:15 says that “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”. Mahirap talaga mag discipline ng bata lalo na kung papaluin mo na, pero para sa kanila rin yan. yun lang meron pa ring paraan na pagbabalo sa bata sa hindi siya ma to trauma, like syiempre sa pwet tapos pagkatapos paluin ipaalala sa kanya ang pagmamahal, kung bakit mo siya dinidisiplina, hwag lang pabayaan na pinalo tapos di na explain sa kanya kung bakit.
[Reply to this comment]
December 10, 2006 pm31 8:48 am
kalooy pud ni maria oy. i wish too you havent done that to her. i could only imagine how afraid she was. looya pud oy. na trauma gyud na sya ga. maybe you should try being with her in a dark room while hugging and talking to her. basin kadugayan mauli-an ra iya kahadlok.
does toney know about what happened?
kiss little maring for me. mwuaaahhh. love you both…. miss you…
[Reply to this comment]
December 10, 2006 pm31 2:42 pm
I knew, the feeling Raq, just calm down…matud pa nila ing-ana gyud ng mga bata labi na gyud only one lang si Maria…usahay kita makahimo sa mga butang nga dili unta nato gustong buhaton sa mga bata “usahay bah dili malikayan”. I do spank ! only my kids butt and time out always work …usahay they don’t care maskig they turn black and blues ….but hey if you take them away from their favorite thing they will go crazy…
Your Maria still learning and your her comfort zone…kong wala work si Tony..try to go out without her para ma relax ka og ma experience ni Maria nga wala ka around…and tell her you will come back soon…
Og normal gyud sa kids nga mahadlok sila sa dark og usahay ma phobia sila ….try to be with here sa ngitngit and tell here theres nothing to be afraid of…tudloi pag onn and off sa light switch ” work for me”. Bitaw,don’t to be to hard for yourself and Maria…just take it easy kay ma highblood unya ka like me ….mao ng ako enjoy ko nalang ning duha naku ka bogoy kay they won’t be kids forever…they grow like a weed and will have their own world pretty soon. You take care and God Bless.
[Reply to this comment]
December 10, 2006 pm31 7:39 pm
syempre i can’t relate since wala pa kameng baby. but this is also one of my fears. pano nga ba maging mabuting magulang? how do you discipline your child? kailangan bang paluin? sigawan?
i’m sorry to hear about your kid’s trauma. in due time, mawawala rin naman siguro yun. and you can’t blame yourself kasi you only did what you thought would teach her a lesson.
[Reply to this comment]
December 10, 2006 pm31 9:44 pm
What?! at her age imo na sya gi punished?! bahis jud ka noh? kalooy sad sa akong palanggangn gamateng. Mura man kag ni punished ug 10 yrs old na diha.
[Reply to this comment]
December 10, 2006 pm31 9:54 pm
This is a difficult and delicate question but I guess the right thing is to follow your heart.
Btw: Thanks for your visit and comments. I’m glad we met on line too! TorAa and I had a splendid weekend:-)
[Reply to this comment]
December 10, 2006 pm31 11:29 pm
Hi Raq, dont feel bad about what you did to Maria. You just want to make things right for her. But do it with love and not with anger. Maria is still a baby and they’re very innocent, we just have to be very patient with them. Once they are old enough, its okay to put them on time out in the dark or in any form….Dont yell at her also because she will learn to yell back. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6. Lets train them to be the kind of child God wants them to be! Take care always. God bless you and your family, remember you are an awesome Mama!
[Reply to this comment]
December 11, 2006 pm31 1:35 am
@ CRUISE:
Thanks Cruise! Ay mahirap talaga, especially for those who are first time mom.
@ ACHIE:
Thanks, that’s a good idea, I will try that if it works. Yes, Toney knows all about it. He didn’t blame me naman.
@ GWAPASILA:
Gwapa, nalooy lang ko aning akong anak kay bata pa kaayo akong gibutnag sa ngitngit. Usahay ba maka ulit man gud ni sya oi kay mo hilak walay hinungdan ug saputon labi nag naay magunitan ug imong kuhaon, agoy mo syagit ug taman…salamat kau sa imong mga matam-is nga pulong ha, hehehe.
@ GRACITA:
Thanks Gracita, this is your pre-caution now, hehehe. For me, I blame myself kase bata pa anak ko at ginawa ko yun sa kanaya…
@ LOLLIPOP:
Waaaah:(( Mare, ayaw ko kasab-i bah!
@ RennyBA:
Thanks Renny.
Oh I am happy to both of you, maybe you could share some photos sometimes. Would you mind if I will add you as my contact?
@ MIMI:
That is a very sweet of you Mimi. Lahi ning layo ta sa atong family kay walay maka advice. Wala jud koy idea aning “she will learn to yell back”. Usahay ra ba kay masingkahan nako ni kay wala koy pasensya, usahay ra pod. I blame myself lang kay bata pa kaayo si Maria ug akong gibuhat to sa iya…pasensya jud ang dapat sa ila nga edad. Lain pod ato, naa koy IM sa imo gakadawat nimo, ingon gud ko nga nasuko man cguro ni si Mimi nako.
[Reply to this comment]
December 11, 2006 pm31 5:05 am
Hello Ate Raq. I am not into spanking the child. If you watch those Nanny 911 on TV I think they give out good pointers on how to discipline a child.
The important thing here is respect since by spanking a child you are not instilling respect on that but instead fear and it is not good since eventually people outgrow on their fears and become rebellious later.
Myself is a good example on that. Actually I dont respect my parents at all these days since I am all grown up and I am not threatened anymore with the spanking or other array of punishments. I just blew them all away. If they respected my choices as a child I could have been more respectful to them by now.
Btw, I made a small version of the button. I dunno if that is small enough for you. I will make more buttons later
[Reply to this comment]
December 11, 2006 pm31 5:24 am
they say that the length of punishment for kids like isolating them should correspond to their age. example, for a 2 year old child, the punishment should only be 2 minutes long, no longer than that.
when my kids throw tantrums [which is very rare, thank God], i leave them alone, i let them scream all they want, eventually they will get tired and stop. Kasi alam nilang di ko sila papansinin. Pero malalaki na ang mga anak ko, unlike Maria.
I think what Maria needs is playmates. Why dont you send her to a daycare center mga 2-3 times a week for 4 hours each day. Para she will learn how to socialize and at the same time be on her own without you beside her al the time.
Mothers need time away from their kids… just like kids need some time away from their parents.
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December 11, 2006 pm31 6:53 am
In my part quel, Im so thankful that Nicole doesn’t throw a tantrum like Maria does. The only thing that makes me frustrated about is her being so malikot dli gyud sya mahadlok touching all these things around us, when I lost out of patience that’s the time I would yell at her pag magahi na ang ulo dli maminaw from my first and second signal na “NO”. Putting our kids in the bathroom that’s just not helping at all but we make things worsen. C nicole nuon she never gets afraid of the dark, ako pa maluya og hadlok niya kay maski pagngan nako sa suga tua namungkag sa among dirty clothes. Ingnon nako na naay ungo. I just can’t do putting a time out to Nicole like that kay ighuman maluoy kaayo ko og makonsensya. I still understand about her situation kay she is still into learning everything she sees around. I guess that’s just a normal thing for the kids. Usahay makasab-an c Nicole sa akong bana but later on mouna nalang sya na sorry anak I know na it’s part of you being a smart daw kay curious kaayo sa tanan dli mahadlok unya kamo gikuyawan nami and sometimes she breaks things na dli dapat maski unsaon og bantay sa iya.
Pasensya ragyud sa mga inahan kay once dli ta ka control makonsensya ta ighuman then we would wish that we have not done it but we can’t turn back time after all. Sa ako pod nuon side gihinay hinay na namo ni og pasabot c Nicole and good things she would respond that well, once she gets into trouble she would know it. Ako hadlokon gyud nako c nicole to smack her hands and butt. I guess you need a break time sometimes, try to go out without your daughter and let your husband watch Maria so you will have freedom pod usahay, if that makes you feel good.
Goodluck on your parenting. Kitang mga inahan as a first timer is really into lots of adjustments, extremely patience atong kailangan, I know sometimes it’s hard to deal na kay mahutdan ta og pasensya pero control lang gyud!
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December 11, 2006 pm31 6:59 am
it only shows that you really love your child. just continue to express your love to your son and soon enough the trauma will go away and he’ll understand that you did it for his own good.
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December 11, 2006 pm31 9:19 am
Hi Raquel, I felt pity for your daugther. I do spank of my son in the butt ug mangusi pa gani ko pero gibreak nako kay masuko akong bana ug I felt bad and terrible mother after I do it. I have attitude like crab dali ra kaayo makakapit labi na stressful kaayo ko akong mahungawan akong anak. Then I yell at him when he wont listen to me. Toddler tantrum is very hard to deal with it and we have a lot of patience. Hubby and I stick to our discipline like time out in the corner of the bathroom upstair standing up facing to the wall and downstairs in the kitchen facing to the sink and he doesnt like it. We start giving him time out when he was toddler about 1-2 minutes until became 10-15 minutes until age of 5 years old. Now we dont give him time out anymore because he understand what he can do or not. If his being bad at school like last year we give him a lot of time out and after time out we explain to him and telling him we do love him so much. Time out is work for us. But now I took away one of his favorite toy or no tv, no game, no computer. He can only play legos and do his homework and do coloring or writing thats my punishment for him and it work for me. Hubby and I dont have complict to discipline our son because we both the same. Now I hate to hear his talking back to us and we keep explaining to him all the time and do the same discipline by no tv, no pc, no playsation 2 game age like this is showing us to be independent and I can believed his already talking back to us sometime he got spank from his dad and me cause sometimes just too much.
Dont give your daugther time out in the dark because is not appropriate for her age even older. When you do giving her time out, turn on the light. You can still spank her in the butt,but remember not so hard just enough for her to feel she is bad. You and your hubby stick one descipline and work out together otherwise it became one of your argument,but thats is normal. You still had few more years before your daugther understand what is time out means to her when she is bad because she is only over a year old. They called it terrible 2 and later terrible 3 and so on. Na sige good luck and be patience. take care
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December 11, 2006 pm31 9:27 am
hmm,parenting is tough and sensible…
lahat naman tayo,may kanya kanyang hirap sa pagpapalaki..but Maria is still small para makaintindi…shes not forever little nman,kaya you need more patience.
she`ll get over it..makakalimutan nya rin yan naturally,bumawi ka na lang sa pakikipaglaro sa kanya,talking to her,smiling with her,and its effective,i guess.
pag nagkinder na sha at nag elementary,mas lalong maraming discipline ang matututunan nya,that way,magkakaroon ka na ng time para sa sarili mo.
goodluck,Raq
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December 11, 2006 pm31 11:45 am
@ CHASE:
I’ve been watching the Nanny 911, dami kung natutunan jan eh.
O thank very much to your point of view. Iba-iba talaga ang mga reaction in every child. Sa kin naman I’m scared of punishment from my parents kaya naging behave ako. I guess as a parent, let us see nalang the situation kung ano ang dapat i-aaply pag di-disiplina.
Salamat Charles, anjan na sa sidebar ko…proud na proud akong CW eh, marami din akong nakilala with your game. Kilan ba ang susunod na game? Hi-hi-hi…
@ JO:
Hay sana di ko ginawa yun….Maria is too young for that kind of punishment. I think it was only a seconds lang at ang kinalabasan ay di maganda. Grabe ha may dalawang nag comment dito, I feel like I am a bad mama sa kanila and they sound like a perfect mama.
Thank you for the “daycare” suggestion Jo, I like it. I will ask hubby for this.
@ DAUPH:
Hi Dauph, I wish all children have the same reaction after all what you did of Nicole by putting her in the dark. How lucky you are to have a daughter like her.
“Im so thankful that Nicole doesn’t throw a tantrum like Maria does.”
I guess, having a tantrum thing is normal for young children even adults have. Please do not compare my daughter to Nicole because you don’t know the personality of my daughter and you don’t know the situation and never mention how bad the tantrum of my daughter. I never mention how bad she is. I hope my message was clear to you Dauph.
Same here, goodluck on your parenting…take care and God bless your family.
@ ISKOO:
Thanks Iskoo, this message is very sweet. Sabi pa ni Ghee, babawi nalang ako by playing with her just to get away the feeling of concience.
@ LANIE:
Thank you for sharing your experiences of taking care with Andrew Lan…goodluck! I am not halfway yet.
@ GHEE:
Ma’am Ghee, ehem, ma’am sila sau eh.
Magandang idea to ah…”bumawi ka na lang sa pakikipaglaro sa kanya,talking to her,smiling with her,and its effective,i guess”. Salamat ha, parang pinakalma mo ang concience ko.
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December 11, 2006 pm31 11:53 am
That is also true. I think giving timeout is quite effective and i will do the same when i have my own children that bad behaviour has some consequences. That’s why i like watching Nanny 911. I learned alot from them.
I will keep you posted on the next game since I will have a real prize from Norway
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December 11, 2006 pm31 1:00 pm
Hei Raquel,
Sometimes, a child just to have to cry. Most of the time, they cry because they are tired and they do not know how to handle it. Mahirap talaga na marinig ang bata na umiiyak pero ako, I let them cry until they calm down and then, I talk to them. The more I fuzz around them when they cry, the louder they do it.
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December 11, 2006 pm31 1:38 pm
wag kang naman maging malupit sa sarili, mahirap talaga mag-alaga ng bata … lalo na kung panganay, marami kang tanong kung tama o mali ang ginagawa mo! pero sabi nga mother knows best
sa ganyang edad, madali pa niyang makakalimutan yan … wag mo lang dibdibin and presto! bati na uli kayo.
jan tayo natututo kaya lang … sabi nga habang lumalaki ang mga anak, lumalaki rin ang problema … hirap maging isang ulirang ina (sino ba ang hindi nagkakamali)! kaya sa next life gusto ko ama ako! heheh
kahit tapos na ang monther’s day … MABUHAY ANG MGA NANAY!
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December 11, 2006 pm31 4:20 pm
i don’t believe in spanking. my young ones can be unreasonable also. but i just try to understand my 3-year-old son or my 1-year-old daughter.. what they are trying to tell me… count one to ten… then explain. i don’t wanna spoil them, so I explain instead of giving in to their demands, whatever they may be. yup, mahirap talaga maging nanay.
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December 11, 2006 pm31 8:00 pm
HI RAQ lisod jud bitaw labi pa ning akoa diri…duha jud badlongon na kaau….usahay dapi-an baya nako uy…..pero mao lage ang guilt nato dili ta katulog….buhat sad ko sumtyms ingon ana sa bathroom with no lights on….pero so far okey ra man akoa anak…dili man mahadlok sa dark nu-on….ayaw ka worry kay ma change ra na sila cguro ambot lang hehehe i dont know pud ayyy….kay ako until now hadlokan jud ko ug dark as in….one of my biggest fear jud na lol….ingon ana jud na ang mga bata they will keep pushing ur buttons until to the limit nga you will blue the face hehehehe….anyway cguro daghan diri ang maka hatag ug advice…..take care
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December 11, 2006 pm31 9:24 pm
Hi Raquel,
Don’t feel bad about your parenting style… not all people will agree with you. but remember that parents do make mistake too, we are not perfect, we are only human!
I made a lot of parenting mistakes too, and I have to live with those mistakes and the effect it had on my kids.
There’s a book and video called “1-2-3 Magic”, try to borrow it in your local library. The method/concept there really worked! It worked on my kids! And I’m sure it will work on Maria, even at age 2.
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December 11, 2006 pm31 10:20 pm
@ CHASE:
Thanks Charles!
@ AL:
Thank you, it’s good I posted about this, ang dami kung natutunan.
@ BAKYA NI NENENG:
Salamat manay, pinagaan mo dibdib ko.
@ TANI:
Thanks Tani…
@ HAZE:
Good for your baby Haze, maayo unta parehas ang mga reaction sa mga bata. Nalooy lang ko ning ako kay mahadlok na ug ngitngit.
@ JO:
Thank you Jo, buti nalang na i-share ko to dahil ang dami kung natutunan sa inyo. Dami ko ring babaguhin to handle this problem with our children.
I will check that video Jo, malapit lang dito samin ang local library, isang block lang.
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December 12, 2006 pm31 5:07 am
Aha, this time it works! I couldn’t comment earlier. I don’t know why.
I just want to say…Raquel, you’re a good Mom for worrying. Yeah, there’ll be misstep, and mishap, and lots of guilt. The point is to try to go on from there.
I do time-out with my kids as early as 18 months. Time out like, making them stay in the corner, a minute for each year of their age.
I have been fortunate that it works with most of them. I say most because there’s always the one kid who’s quite willing to push the envelop.
I know that guilt. I feel it every single time I snap at my kids because I just lost all patience.
What also works for me is to give myself a break…like I would sit in the couch with my book, so I could still keep an eye out for the kids, but I will not say anything or respond to anything. I’ll just be reading and calming myself down so I can tell them in a perfectly calm voice why Mommy does not like what they just did.
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December 12, 2006 pm31 11:03 am
Shoshana, thank you very much of your inspiring messages. I am glad I had shared this to everyone because it really bothers me. This is the difficult situation since I am a first time mom and also I am away from my family…
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December 12, 2006 pm31 8:43 pm
Having tantrums are very normal for children because they still do not have good reasoning, therefore they are frustrated. Us adults are matured, capable of good reasoning, decision-making and yet we make tantrums too!
Don’t worry Raquel, you are doing a good job instead of hurting a child like I do with my kids I ask them to go to their room. They can cry as long as they want in the end they will get tired and will just find theirselves playing with their toys. Sometimes I give them a taste of palo too! From time to time it is necessary to spank them (in the BUTT but not just anywhere). Depende rin kung ano ang kasalanan nila di ba. Of course it doesn’t mean that we do not love them or maltreating our child! Goodluck to your parenting Raquel it is the most difficult job and I guess you are on the right path in educating Maria!
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December 13, 2006 pm31 6:35 am
it’s sure so overwhelming ang mga tambag. but just remember Raq babies cry with NO reason. most of them cried for attention that’s it all. You are just fine & don’t worry about it.
dili tanan pareha ang bata. lain2x sila ug personality. some parents are lucky na dili mag throw ug temper tantrum but that’s so rare. i’m sure na naa silay gusto ug dili dayon makuha mao dayon they all do anything to get. hahaha. just like Julie!
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December 13, 2006 pm31 9:50 pm
@ HAZE:
You are absolutely right! I just don’t like to compare my daughter with other kids because everyone of us has a different personality.
I would rather do what I did than hurting her. Thank you very much Haze…
@ CARLOTA:
Thank you Carlota…
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December 17, 2006 pm31 12:57 am
Oy unsaman diay ka quel gihimo man nuon nimong mean akong gi-comment dri. As I have said nagpasalamt ko na nicole wala syay tantrum pareho kay Maria pero malikot kaayo c nicole which is a bad thing for my daughter. Ikaw na nag ingon na imong anak mohilak without any reason. Im not comparing my daughter to yours. Lahi lahi atong mga anak sa ato ika frustrate. Did I say something so bad about your daughter? I am just sharing my opinion being as a mom, well if you can’t take it delete the comment, don’t let the others read it kong nasakitan ka you can PM me anything you want. I thought you are accepting all the comments here.
Don’t just ever saying goodluck to me bcos it seems it’s just being hypocrite. I hope you are being a true person.
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Posted by Dauph to Memories Frozen in Time at 12/11/2006 09:32:23 PM
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December 17, 2006 pm31 12:59 am
This is going to be my second comment this time but seems my comment didn’t get through or what since I didn’t see it appears. Usbon ko nalang!
Imo diay gihimo na mean akong comment dri quel. I didn’t compare my daughter to yours. Ingon ko c nagpasalamat ko na walay tantrum c Nicole like Maria does. pero ang bad side ning nicole is very makulit pod which is very frustrating to me. Did I say anything so bad to your daughter? basaha kuno na og balik kay basin ikaw ra ang wala kasabot ba! kadaghana gud para kaklaro ka. Cguro nasayop ko nga gibutang nako ang name ning Maria pero it doesn’t mean gi-compare nako clang duha akong gipaibot na lahi lahi ang mga bata nga ato ika frustrate. Did I say something so bad ba kay Maria? Ikaw ray nag ingon na imong anak muhilak without any reason. I thought you open this to everyone, so imo man kaha pamati bati ni akong gi-comment, so nagpasabot lang diay na you are looking up to the comments that are soo nice maski lahi lahi gyud opinion sa mga tawo. Kong ingon ani nalang diay don’t put your blog into public and just erase my name in your blog list okay!
Nasakitan man kaha ka sa akong comment ge-delete nalang unta nimo og gi YM ko nimo dli kay imo pa i-annonce sa mga tawo dri or into public. Mao diay niingon ka dri na there are two people here commented na bad ka pagkainahan unya we sounds perfect. Giunsa gud tawn nimo paghunahuna. IKaw nagstart pag open sa topic. Kong nalain ka sa akong gipost you can reach man sa YM or phone kay nakahibaw man ka sa number pod. You know what dli diay ko angay na mo respeto ko nimo kay mura man sad ka walay manner. Ipa annonsyo pa gyud diay nimo. Pasalamat ka wala teka giingnan na the way nimo gibutang c Maria sa bathroom na ingon ana pa og edad na bati gyud na imong gibuhat kay bata pa kaayo na ingon ana edara giingon ana nimo. Abusive na imong gibuhat sa iyaha. So think about that before might someone would call the 911 in your neighborhood pag nahibaw-an ka.
As your saying goodluck to me pod but sorry I don’t need it cos you are just being sarcastic and hypocrite after saying that to me. I hope you are a true person.
Posted by Dauph to Memories Frozen in Time at 12/12/06 12:03 AM
Wahi-hi…kulbaan ug korog jud ko nimo dah! Bravo! Clap-clap… Salamat diay sa imong input diri madam, nice message indeed.
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